Introduction:
I was going to write this post last year. I refrained; reluctant to share something so personal and private. Didn’t want to risk judgment and criticism.
Don’t believe in self-help. There is no self; there is nothing to improve.
It’s suggested that goals be SMART; specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-specific. Not confident that intentions follow these same parameters. Intentions are a guide, a reminder, and allow the freedom to pivot when change is required.
Psychologist Phil Stutz suggests that people work towards a goal, but not cling to the goal; accept the outcome, if the goal doesn’t materialize. Embrace the process, not the outcome.
Intentions:
I consider those intentions that would make a difference in my life, or those intentions that would make a difference for the few people within my orbit.
How many intentions. It’s suggested that the human mind may only remember five pieces of data, plus or minus two. I am liable to forget, so I limited myself to five intentions.
1. Practice the Socrates speech filter; before speaking, ensure that my words are true (not gossip, not hearsay), kind (to others), and beneficial; else, don’t speak.
2. Listen more than talk; don’t interrupt, don’t offer advice unless asked. Perhaps this is why humans have two ears and one mouth. I recognize that many people don’t want advice, often, people just want someone to listen, to bear witness. I recognize that it’s rude and disrespectful to talk over people.
3. Find the positive and move forward; don’t complain; don’t criticize. Criticism is a form of resistance, it makes the object of resistance, stronger. When things go sideways, I try to remind myself, “yes, and this too.”
4. Create a mantra to serve as a reminder of the direction of my life. To be a curious and engaged writer, and see where the effort may lead over the next decade. Embrace maniacal reinvention, embrace curiosity and fear; a source of energy and possibility.
5. Practice non-attachment; give but don’t take; recognize that I have “enough.”
Cutting room floor:
Considered several intentions for the New Year, ultimately discarded. I liked the intentions, but felt that there were too many to remember, or, intentions that already had traction.
– In Mexico, often slept on the floor; often more comfortable than the mattress on the bed. In Connecticut, I slept on the floor, and also surrendered my pillow. As often as possible, I sleep on my back. Appreciate the compression forces sleeping on the floor; don’t wake up sore. Sleeping on the floor is one of my super powers.
– Before eating, recite the San Francisco Zen Center meal chant; also recited during my tenure at Green Gulch Farm Zen Center. I like the ritual, and use the opportunity for gratitude practice. Chant offers an opportunity to slow down, and to eat without multi-tasking; put away my iPhone, put away the book or newspaper, turn off the television.
– Meditate twice daily; maintain the habit of sitting; in the morning after I wake up, and in the evening, before going to bed, without a time limit. One of the challenges of traveling, and staying in hostels, is that there is often no privacy when I sit meditation. I try to find a quiet or dark corner; sometimes, to no avail. In the morning, after sitting, I recite the Heart of Great Perfect Wisdom Sutra, the emptiness teaching, and perform three bows, practice in humility. In the evening, recite the Three Refuges, and perform three bows. The practice isn’t perfect, but, it’s a practice. Zen Buddhism often reminds that perfection does not exist, but rather, life is one continuous mistake.
– As often as possible, my intention is to sit quietly and do nothing, an investment in boredom. Visiting a National Park, my intention is to sit quietly on each park bench that I pass. In a world of busy-ness, doing nothing, doing no-thing, might be judged as “bad.” When traveling, as often as possible, I try to find a picnic table to stop for lunch.
– As often as possible, I try to “let go” or “let be.” Ignore petty grievance, allow time for anger to dissipate on its own, to not re-kindle or re-invest in anger. Hatred and anger are wasted energy; an opportunity to practice forgiveness. Life is too short.
– As often as possible, I take the coldest shower that my body will tolerate. Not hot, not warm, not freezing. Easier to tolerate in a tropical climate than winter climate. It’s often easier after physical exertion, like trail running, and better for my body and muscles.
Conclusion:
I allow myself the freedom to change, to modify intentions. Modify in real time, not just limited to New Year’s Eve. I try to maintain several intentions year-round, few enough, that I may contemplate during the day.
Perhaps I’ll share a few thoughts about quitting, in case, some consider that I’m quitting my intentions. Don’t quit what is hard, quit what is not working, quit what is not effective. Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, but expecting a different result.
Tim Harford, a London-based economist, suggests: first, try new things, expecting that some will fail. Second, make failure survivable; create safe spaces for failure, or move forward in small steps. Third, make sure you know when you’ve failed, or you will never learn.
Best wishes to you and your family, for health, happiness, and equanimity, in the New Year.
garthmonroe 